you see --

well.

the last time i could be awfully sensible about it and cry for a couple of days and then go get cookies and flowers which do really help --

and this time (it's been, what, a couple of weeks? this is ridiculous) i want to --

well. i was going to say, kill myself (look, I'm listening to Spiritualized, alright?) but to be honest, i don't actually. i want to sleep. and wake up somewhere else. preferably somewhere with better weather. and have a long time to indulge myself in crying. i would do it now but it seems faintly irresponsible and terribly adolescent when i really really should read something so i can go throw myself at the mercy of my professors tomorrow (today -- is it today already? fuck).