right now - neither the energy nor the persons -
(kenneth koch: sometimes one has the energy and sometimes one has the persons. / where the gods give both, a man shouldn't complain. - i'm butchering the letter of the poem, but the spirit is there.)
i'm home in exactly a month's time. will you all call/write me then?
Saturday, June 14, 2003
i always think i can do without sleep and then find out too late i can't. leaving new york tonight and of course it's raining. what's happened to the hot sweltering new york summer?
tired like a broken bottle like spilt water. would give - not anything - but rather a lot - to be home right now - to be in a safe place - to touch solid ground. as if home, a safe place and solid ground designated specific, concrete places. it's a terrible cliche, but home is where love is, isn't it? and if you're not there, you might as well be anywhere in the world.
am in deep denial about having to leave - this city that i have learnt to love - the people that i have learnt to love - you.
tired like a broken bottle like spilt water. would give - not anything - but rather a lot - to be home right now - to be in a safe place - to touch solid ground. as if home, a safe place and solid ground designated specific, concrete places. it's a terrible cliche, but home is where love is, isn't it? and if you're not there, you might as well be anywhere in the world.
am in deep denial about having to leave - this city that i have learnt to love - the people that i have learnt to love - you.
Thursday, June 12, 2003
resume
education:
new york, 2002-3:
have learnt:
that i want to marry jeff tweedy
or jack white
or anne carson
or frank o'hara, who okay is dead but is still as likely a prospect as all the others
that there is such a thing as too much pastrami even in a katz's sandwich
that woody allen is a god
even if he always plays woody allen in his movies
that hannah arendt can sound good talking complete nonsense
but i can't in my papers on her
to make pecan and pumpkin pies
separately, that is
that sometimes the dying light is golden on the hudson
that love is as possible as difficult as necessary as breathing
or laughter
have never:
taken a man shopping against his will
ordered pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
or anything with mayonnaise
stolen any CDs (i gave them all back)
am in deep denial about having to work. and in the civil service.
education:
new york, 2002-3:
have learnt:
that i want to marry jeff tweedy
or jack white
or anne carson
or frank o'hara, who okay is dead but is still as likely a prospect as all the others
that there is such a thing as too much pastrami even in a katz's sandwich
that woody allen is a god
even if he always plays woody allen in his movies
that hannah arendt can sound good talking complete nonsense
but i can't in my papers on her
to make pecan and pumpkin pies
separately, that is
that sometimes the dying light is golden on the hudson
that love is as possible as difficult as necessary as breathing
or laughter
have never:
taken a man shopping against his will
ordered pastrami on white bread with mayonnaise
or anything with mayonnaise
stolen any CDs (i gave them all back)
am in deep denial about having to work. and in the civil service.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
in L.A. for a few days and mexico city for a few more and now back in new york for a few more until i meet mona and we fly to lima.
brief and belated impressions:
L.A.: the mountains and the ocean redeem the city.
mexico city: laden with history and sudden bursts of colonial architecture and oh! so crowded. pyramids. an old man in an orange blazer - whom i remember as a magical willy wonka figure - stopping us along avenida de 5 de mayo to tell us about some building with carved anguished men holding up pillars that used to be named for Atlantis (the building, not the men) and then running across the road to the statue outside the cathedral, the one of the explorer whose name i've forgotten, which says how high that point is above sea level and the longitude and the latitude...mexico city is the capital of the world, he said, and in those few minutes it seemed that it might be.
new york: i've forgotten how annoying it can be to live here. i need a place to live in, first of all.
*tired.* more to come. probably.
brief and belated impressions:
L.A.: the mountains and the ocean redeem the city.
mexico city: laden with history and sudden bursts of colonial architecture and oh! so crowded. pyramids. an old man in an orange blazer - whom i remember as a magical willy wonka figure - stopping us along avenida de 5 de mayo to tell us about some building with carved anguished men holding up pillars that used to be named for Atlantis (the building, not the men) and then running across the road to the statue outside the cathedral, the one of the explorer whose name i've forgotten, which says how high that point is above sea level and the longitude and the latitude...mexico city is the capital of the world, he said, and in those few minutes it seemed that it might be.
new york: i've forgotten how annoying it can be to live here. i need a place to live in, first of all.
*tired.* more to come. probably.