Still. You don't read this and I don't tell you the worst of it. And I answered politely if unenthusiastically your hello-I'm-too-tired-to-write email. That's something, isn't it? I hate emails like that. It's a bad thing to admit to, of course. They usually only come after a long period of silence and repeated pleas on my part. I always feel like I ought to feel guilty and grateful - yes of course you're busy I should have understood my fault entirely isn't it kind of you to humour me at all - when usually all I feel is pissed off. Even if I were beyond exhaustion I'd have written to you, and something more. Something else. To no-one else, but to you. But that's not the way you work, is it? Possibly it's not the way sensible and decent and nice people work.