the thing is - among the things that one can never say to anyone else - at the top of the list is probably, why doesn't it matter as much to you? if it doesn't it doesn't. you say you don't like thinking in terms of costs - as if you were supposed to perform a cost-benefit analysis on love - but the thing is, there is always a cost, and one always has to pay it. it's not a cost-benefit thing - you never know the cost in advance - you just know there will be one and you have to be willing to pay it at the end. and if you're not willing to, then i guess that's fair enough. or at least, that's your prerogative.